Wow. Two years since I last posted! It feels odd to be posting here again after such a long time, and so much has happened I hardly know where to begin. I'm not sure what I hope to achieve here, much like before, but I'm hoping my blog will give me some clarity this year.
So, a new year has been ushered in and I'm feeling somewhat lost and unfocussed. For the past few months there was always Christmas to focus on, and now that's done and dusted, what next? Last year was an absolute rollercoaster. Despite all the horrible stuff I still feel as if I have much to be proud of. I managed to survive, and on my own, but am still having difficulties with my new life. Sat in my room sometimes, I feel nothing but emptiness, vulnerability and fear. I have a lot to be thankful for - new home, new job, new relationship - I'm still so terrified of everything I've achieved falling apart though.
I need to change the way I live and get into new patterns - healthy patterns, I need to broaden my horizons and not spend all my time in my room moping or drowning my sorrows in drink. At the moment it feels like a huge challenge. Huge. I can't afford to go back to the way I was though, never again.
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